Thursday, March 29, 2007

Thursday, March 29th Was Awesome

As you may already know, today was awesome. I woke up to a call at 9am from my masked drama teacher. He was phoning to tell me that our 11 o'clock class was canceled. He also said I was a wonderful actor with whom he would love to work in the future. +2 ego, +5 sleep.

I got up at 2, took a shower, shaved, and had a samich. Then I saw a wonderful presentation by Ken Perlin. He sounds a little like Wally Shawn. Then I had Chipotle with a friend. It was back to the dorm for some good porn and a great wank. Then I watched the News Hour and they had a sensational story about the trial of Hamlet (audio). This is the first (and probably only) rehearsal day when I am not called, so I went to the gym and had dinner. I took another shower and turned on my computer to write this post. 10 minutes till the Daily Show. What a great day.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Mar 27

The weather today in New York was beautiful. And I'm not just making small talk to get into your pants. Believe me, it was better than most any other weather.

I had (some) class today. I had a brief but fierce time @ ze gym. Then it was rehearsal, which was super duper. Then Jennifer* bought me dinner. Did I mention the weather was obscenely awesome? It brought my drooling vagina every moist pleasure this life has to offer.

* No, I don't know Jen either.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Sunday, March 25

Went to the gym in the first time in 2 1/2 weeks. It was severely intense.

"Saying you're patriotic is like saying you have a big cock: if you have to say it, chances are it's not true." -Bill Maher

Friday, March 23, 2007


"I have a special talent, want to see?"

Before I tell you what her talent was, I feel like I should tell you about everything that I hoped it would be at the time. The first thing that came to my mind was the idea that she wanted to show off her incredible talent at giving head. When she made a move toward the bed instead of my chair, that fantasy was quickly upgraded to a talent of being able to provide hot, wild sex to any male in need. My eyes were wide and I was ready to pounce on her.. She planted herself on the bed, leaned back, lifted her knees up, grabbed them and spread her legs, revealing her rather large vagina to me. I was on the edge of my seat, leaning forward, ready to dive in..

She... had a look on her face. It wasn't the look that I was hoping for. It was more a look of intense concentration. I wasn't sure if I was disappointed yet because I somehow knew that something very special was about to happen. I thought about the possibilities. Perhaps she was going to coax herself to a squirting orgasm without touching. Perhaps she had a ping-pong ball hidden in there, ready to fly in my direction with the right contraction of her muscles. Maybe she just had a really awkward way of seducing men. Nothing I could think of, though, could prepare me for what I was about to... hear.

It came in disjointed sequence at first; a little out of tune perhaps. It improved as she went along, though. The sounds she was making with her vagina drew my attention in. I was mesmerized. She was queefing "Mary Had A Little Lamb." If you think about all the kids you cheered in middle school as they performed an armpit symphony or belched the alphabet in a single breath, they had nothing on Mirium. This was divine. I applauded.

PORN! From the inside (Part 2)


It was warm today. I wore shorts.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Little Blessings

God bless the one-turd shit.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Spring Break Wrapup

Spring break has come and gone. The Cliff Notes:

  • Ate lots of food. (I'm slowly spooning chunky peanut butter down my gullet at this very moment)
  • Mommy bought me some new cloths.
  • Had lots of quality Brittany Time(tm).
  • Made a program for my Mum to handle a misbehaved digital camera (it doesn't work because Windows sucks the fuck).
  • Applied for the Google Summer of Code.
  • Watched Stranger Than Fiction and Zodiac and 300 (at the IMAX with Beckman) and Casino Royal.
  • My cousin Josh stopped over for a day on his way to Mexico.
  • I am still the Undisputed Pinball Master of the Universe(tm). UPMOTU FTW!
Wanna die? Everyone's doin' it.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Fuck You

  • Fuck you, Canal St
  • Fuck you, Windows
  • Fuck you, Project Echelon
  • Fuck you, C
  • Fuck you, Viacom
  • Fuck you, RIAA
  • Fuck you, NYU
  • Fuck you, DNA
  • And fuck you again, Windows
Happy Ides of March

Friday, March 09, 2007

Films and Flesh

Yesterday I saw

  • Manhattan
  • The Science of Sleep
  • 300
Today I did a nude scene. I didn't think it was going to be a nude scene, but that's how the cookie crumbled.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Person, Place, Perception

At long last the New Year's Resolvers have fled the gym. Pre-January Monday levels are still high, but it isn't a beehive anymore. This observation reminded me of another incident a few days ago. The Weinstein all-you-can-eat dining hall (known as "Downstein," it is located below the "Upstein" food court) hits normal peak hours around 7pm on weekdays. At fill tilt, Downstein hosts about 80-100 kids and the wait for the grill is two minutes tops. Certain Saturdays, kids from an inner-city high school are fed at NYU dining halls (I don't know why).

Well, I made my Saturday lunch run to Downstein only to find a swarm in excess of 500 high school kids. Loud and rude, they held up the grill for ten minutes. By the time my order was up, there was no chicken. I left without eating and went to another dining hall, but while braving The Shit I realized how completely this throng of young people transformed the space for me. I barely recognized the room in which I stood, and in which I stand almost every day. The people made the place wholly different: I had the intense sensation that I was getting lunch back at Eastview. The crowd, the noise, the judging and the sense of being judged. It was all very transporting.

I realized that one's perception of a place is heavily tempered by the human presence in that place. The gym, Downstein, it's true anywhere.

Saturday, March 03, 2007


Saturday, 3 March, 2007 DTR: 5,515

  • Guess what time I got to bed last night. SevenFuckingThirty! Boy did I need that.
  • Yesterday I did the Bertram & Dianna seduction scene from All's Well. I was also a supernumerary in three other scenes. It's all about me!
  • Remember, it's still RIAA Boycott Month. You haven't been buying any major label CDs, have you?

Friday, March 02, 2007

It's On!

It's RIAA Boycott Month.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Rabbit Fucking Rabbit

Oh, and it's March. yippee

C is still for...

Did I mention how completely I loath C? Let me say it again: C is for Cunt-Achingly Awful!