Friday, September 29, 2006


We will one day tell our grandchildren of such a thing as night
And of a world on which there only ever shone a single sun.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


  • So much FOOOD that I had to eat. HAD TO!
  • If my comp sci class were any slower, I'd be un-learning.
  • I saw Christo and Jeanne-Claude having dinner here.
If you don't have talent, have beauty, and if you don't have beauty, have kids.


I love narcissists.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Linguistic Epiphanies

I realized today the root of the word singularity.

Monday, September 25, 2006

I'm not clever enough to think of a title for this post

We are all mean, but some of us are clever.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Praise Be!

The laundry. It is done.

Saturday, September 23, 2006


There is no reason not to legalize all recreational drugs.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Death Rattle

My dinner this evening consisted of two Silver Spur hamburgers. The meal was equivalent to eleven helpings of Grade A beef and the decision will likely cost me a day from the end of my life. I can hear old Scott's death rattle now: "If I only hadn't had those two hamburgers!"

Thursday, September 21, 2006

A Good Day

Today was a good day. I. . .

  • Polished off a poem
  • Worked on a project
  • Left for the gym just as the fire alarm went off
  • where I had a great time
  • And then a great sandwhich
  • and then I more or less slept.
  • More or less.
The Poem:
I would ______ you if I had a verb to spare.
My longing;judging;expecting associates have an expectation of me
And my fellow friends of blaming;masturbating;destroying need my company.
The tomfoolers want blatherers and violators require admirers
And my prior engagements to praying;pissing;repenting;begging commit me somewhat beyond my availability.
Were it but for my heavy spending of fearing, I would devote a bit of it to us, my dear.
I would fear our lack of predicate.
As it stands, my poverty of language leaves me somewhat indebted of ideas and expression.
All I can afford you is a punctuation mark or two.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Reasons Why

  1. Sex with you is a poor imitation of masturbation.
  2. I'm drowning in the sea of your ineptitudes.
  3. I don't do tofu.

The Best Sentence in the English Language

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. [1]

Thursday, September 14, 2006


Marriage is so pre-9/11.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Sidewalk Urges

One of my more violent urges is to throw the pedestrian in front of me to the ground while screaming, "Move your fucking ass you tourist turd!" I often have this urge. About 20 times a day.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


A Utopia is a world in which no new questions are asked.

Sunday, September 03, 2006


If you fell into a bottomless pit on Earth, your body would reach relativistic speeds after 35 days. Unfortunately you would be dead from dehydration by day 6, at the latest.

Friday, September 01, 2006


I'm always yawning and moaning and stretching and groaning andohgodifeelsoold