Sunday, November 30, 2008


Two short indie games based on Lovecraft. Both have interesting visual styles and are strangly evokative of the surreal horror-kitsch that I love about Lovecraft.

EDIT: Looks like these are part of the Commonplace Book Competition. Cool.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Dribble Dribble

Come down with a bout of the old seasonal diarrhea. Liquid fun is running out of my ass at 30 minute intervals. I wish you could be here.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Catharsis on the Toilet

I won't go into the gory details, but to say that I feel much better now. Other things that happened today:

  • Ran the dog.
  • Met a new friend.
  • Went swimming in the lake.
  • Going to Quantum of Solace tonight (it was just released in NZ).
Life is a slow way to die.

Gobble Gobble

Turkey Day at the Blackmans. Enough food to incapacitate a miniature pony, and I still haven't been to the gym.

I'm just waiting for life to disabuse me of my ambitions.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I spent a few hours on Wikipedia today. In my old tradition, the chronological order, including what I learned:

  • Jet Propulsion Laboritory
  • Mars Science Laboritory - This is the next mars rover. It's really big: the size of a small car.
  • Aerospace
  • NASA - Created in '58.
  • Spacecraft
  • Lockheed Martin - Biggest defense corp by rev. They merged in '95.
  • Boeing - Boeing committed corporate espionage against Lockheed Martin a little while ago. As a consequence, the govn't slapped them with fines, transferred a bunch of contracts to Lockheed, and suspended Boeing's satellite work for a while.
  • EADS - Some European aerospace co.
  • Saab - Saab (which originally stood for "Swedish Aerospace Company") was created during WWII to provide allied planes. Today they manufacture such things as camouflage systems and shoulder-mounted anti-tank ordinance.
  • National Aeronautics and Space Act - This created NASA.
  • F-22 Raptor - The US' new fighter jet. Best in the fucking world, they say (made by Lockheed Martin and Boeing).
  • Dow Jones Industrial Average - I wasn't aware that this only looks at 30 companies.
  • Boeing 787 - The Dreamliner. They're doing this really interesting thing where most of the assembly is being handled by their suppliers. This has cause the massive delays because some suppliers can't get their shit together. I wonder if this strategy is ultimately going to work out for Boeing. They have about 900 pre-orders already.
  • Composite material
  • Saab Automobile - The automobile arm of Saab. Now owned by GM.
  • General Motors
  • General Electric
  • List of corporations by market capitalization
  • PetroChina - At the top of the above list.
  • ExxonMobil - These people make the most money. Seriously. They have the highest revenue. Of any company. Ever.
  • Simplified Chinese characters - Being pushed by the People's Republic of China to increase literacy.
  • Republic of China - Commonly known as Taiwan, this was the Chinese government until the communists took over the mainland. For a long time the international community did not recognize the PRC as a legitimate government even though they had full control of the country. The Republic of China, a founding member of the UN, still claims that they are the legal government of mainland China.
  • Berkshire Hathaway - They have quite a diverse share of holdings including candy production, encyclopedias, and vacuum cleaners.
  • Johnson & Johnson - Considered the most well-respected company in the world.
  • Holding company
  • 3M - They only officially changed their name to "3M" in 2002.
  • Honeywell
  • Emerson Electric Company
  • News Corporation
  • Nintendo - Founded in 1889 to make playing cards, they then tried such business as love hotels and taxi services before becoming the video game giant we know and love today.
  • Conglomerate (company)
  • Dutch East India Company - So this is absolutely fascinating. The VOC (the abbreviation of the Dutch name) was the first multinational conglomerate corporation. It was also the first company to issue stocks. They were created to combat the Portuguese monopoly on spice trading. They chugged along for 200 years before finally going bankrupt. They had some really shrewd business moves. For example: spice trade was complicated by the fact that the Europeans didn't have much to offer the Indo-Asian cultures other than gold and silver. While Spain and Portugal had lots of gold, other western countries (especially England) did not. VOC set up an intra-Asia trading system whereby their ships facilitated trade between Asian nations. The profits from this operation were then used to purchase spices which the ships then brought back to Europe. They also artificially increased the supply in the pepper market to reduce prices. This meant that their margins were lower in the short-term, but it disincentivized potential competitors from getting into the pepper business because it appeared there was less profit to be had.
  • British East India Company
  • French East India Company
  • Danish East India Company
  • Amsterdam (VOC ship) - A wrecked VOC ship. The wreck is sometimes visible at low-tide.
  • Protection of Wrecks Act 1973
  • Swedish East India Company
  • Scuttling of the German fleet in Scapa Flow
  • Scuttling - The deliberate sinking of a ship. The Pentagon had a scuttling program called CHASE (Cut Holes and Sink 'Em) which was used to dispose of chemical weapons, such as nerve gasses, after they were made illegal by the Chemical Weapons Convention of 1993.
  • Conquistador - Bad Spaniards.
  • Black Legend - The theory that Spaniards aren't really that bad.
  • Historical revision of the Inquisition
  • Inquisition
  • USS Oriskany - Scuttled to create an artificial reef.
  • VX (nerve agent) - The very nastiest nerve gas.
  • Narco submarine - Semi-submersible radar-transparent craft used by Colombian drug runners. There's a nifty loophole in maritime law that lets the smugglers scuttle the sub and avoid charges if someone finds them.
  • Artificial reef - Their benefit to marine life is debated.
  • Osborne Reef - An artificial reef made of tires. Turns out tires are bad for the fish.
  • Gerald R. Ford class aircraft carrier - The next class of US carrier. In development.
  • Nerve agent - Never gases are actually liquid at room temperature.
  • Mark I NAAK - A nerve-gas antidote auto-syringe kit issued to US armed forces. The two shots go into the muscle of the outer thigh.
  • Tabun (nerve agent) - Also known as "GA" (German agent A). Developed during WWII. Went into mass production. There were some accidents at the plant: "Four pipe fitters had liquid tabun drain onto them; they died before their rubber suits could be removed."
  • Sarin - AKA GB. 10x deadlier than Tabun.
  • B41 nuclear bomb
  • Tsar Bomba - Most physically powerful man-made thing ever created. 50 Megatons (1.4% the output of the Sun). They had originally designed a 100 Megaton version, but it was considered too destructive to be useful (the bomber plane would not be able to escape the detonation). Big nukes were favored in the 60s because targeting was inaccurate and it was assumed that many planes in a fleet of bombers might be shot down en-route. So if only one plane made it, and the drop was off the target by some kilometers, a big bomb would insure that the mission was still successful. As targeting systems improved, the US and USSR moved toward smaller nuke designs. No Tsar Bombas were ever produced after the test unit.
  • B53 nuclear bomb
  • Atmospheric focusing - A concussive shockwave resulting from large explosions.
  • Father of all bombs - Claimed by the Russians to be the most powerful conventional (non-nuclear) bomb.
  • Spanish Inquisition
  • Witch-hunt
  • The Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python)
  • Moral panic
  • Rainbow party (sexuality)
  • Witchcraft Act - (British) Someone was arrested under this as late as WWII.
  • Helen Duncan - And this was her.
  • Wicca
  • The Crucible
  • The Crucible (1996 film)
  • Daniel Day-Lewis
  • Nine (film)
  • There Will Be Blood
  • The Last of the Mohicans (1992 film)
  • Oil!
  • Upton Sinclair - That's right, he wrote The Jungle.
  • DuPont - 2nd biggest chem co.
  • BASF - Biggest chem co. German.
  • Kevlar - The name is a DuPont trademark.
  • Neoprene - Same.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Free Advice

Is the sun shining? Does everything seem to be coming up roses? Are you feeling chipper? Well slow down there buddy boy. Did you know the Federal Government recommends are least 16 hours of feeling like shit about yourself every day? It's true! There are plenty of great ways to get your daily dose of feeling like shit about yourself, but in my experience nothing does the job better than not going to the gym for four days. So the next time you need to feel like shit about yourself, consider not going to the gym for FOUR DAYS, and then let me know how it worked out for you. I'm here to help.

Ben Folds' new album is out. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!


"Holy fucking shit." - William Shatspeare on that

Sunday, November 23, 2008

What am I trying to prove?

I'm up at 7am. I do not have to pee. I did not have a bad dream. I do not have things to do. What exactly is going on? (Mem. am I infected with some mutant strain of rabies virus? Should see doctor about BRAAAAAAAINS! *cough*weeze*)

Those peepers are keepers. - Me on your eyes.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Father Cares


Like Taking Candy From a Baby

Or cytoplasm from a oviparous embryo.

Love Letter

Dear The Gym,

I love you. I know sometimes I pretend like I don't love you. Sometimes I neglect or ignore you. I just want you to know, no matter what else I say or do, I think you're the greatest and I love the shit out of you.

Your pal,

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Just woke up today feeling GREAT. Had a nice big breakfast. Let's see where this day goes...

Monday, November 17, 2008

Business Proposal

I love apples, but I'm always running out. What I propose is some kind of Apple Making Machine that you could put in your home. It might be relatively large, so perhaps the back yard is a good spot to keep it. The machine would automatically replenish your supply of apples, creating several new units at given intervals. It would be solar powered, and we could even design it to absorb carbon dioxide so it's good for the environment. This is perhaps my most brilliant idea EVER! I'll get the patents, you get the funding.


Chicken Dog

I am, right this moment, eating a breast of fried chicken in a hot dog bun with ketchup. Yes, I was left to my own devices for dinner tonight. I'm really hankering for some irradiated turkey!

You're perfect enough.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Mom's Original Irradiated Turkey

There was a shuttle launch yesterday and I didn't even know about it! STS-126 is, among other things, "carrying irradiated turkey, candied yams, stuffing and dessert for a special Thanksgiving meal at the [International Space] station." For some reason, whenever I find myself at some Wikipedia article on human space flight, I end up reading it aloud to no one in particular. Fun fact: did you know that only three people have ever died in outer space? Decompression is a real buzz kill.

Space is a whole bunch of pilgrims and no Indians! - Christopher Columbia, prior to his encounter with Chief Burning Foam

Too soon! - The Too-Soon Guy, prior to the point at which the above joke is tasteful.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Which Side Are You In?

They say art needs a frame. How much lovelier then is the sunny day when enjoyed through a window.

It's never too soon to be a good person.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

By Which I Really Mean To Say...

Watch this. Please.

Monday, November 10, 2008

, Earthling

I was walking back from the gym tonight and a man passed me. Rather than say something like "hey," or "goodevening," or nothing at all because it's actually kind of weird to address strangers on the street if you're older than 5, he said "Greetings!" I love that man.

"The ethnics aren't going to cleanse themselves." -Choose Your Own Dictator

Friday, November 07, 2008

All Good Things...

  • Have recently discovered that butter chicken is not an acceptable substitute for the gym. Now I know.
  • Just finished my re-watch of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
  • Just started LittleBigPlanet which was released today in New Zealand.
  • Am also digging the Left4Dead demo. Zombies are actively attracted to live pipe bombs. Now I know.
You're either a perfectionist or you're lazy.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

By Which I Mean To say

I am deeply disappointed in 52% of the California electorate. I spare no contempt for the ideologues on the 'Yes' side in whose shame I have no faith, but the larger segment of that majority I cannot hate: the ignorant. Their bigotry is inexcusable, but its cause is no capital offence. They have been persuaded from their morals by who knows what slick-talking charlatans. Their trust in whatever institution - religion, tradition, TV advertisements - has been exploited by the unscrupulous and those pious demons have shouted down their better angles. However they cannot be forgiven their disgraceful behaviour toward their fellow human beings. They will be an embarrassment to their children, if not to themselves.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

No, Seriously

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fucker fucking fucktard fuckup fuckshit fuckfuckfuck fcuk fucklicking fucksucker fuckmeinmymom deepfuck fuckalicious William F. Fuckley (the 'F' is for "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!1!").

Can the Big One just take out 52% of California? Please? Like, right now?

I'm really at a loss. The towering idiocy of these moral lepers rains burning shit upon the land. Prop 8 glistens on the brow of the Golden State like some throbbing abscess, dribbling pus into the corner of America's eye. I can forgive Texas and Georgia and Arizona and, like, 40 other states for being morally retarded, milky-eyed cunts, but we're talking about California for fuck's sake. If this 52% of the electorate can see out from under their foreheads, maybe they can vote their way to a chopstick and do us all the tremendous favour of lobotomizing themselves through the eyeball.

These people's God, if he existed, ought to have taken greater care when aiming his cumshot. Jizzing all over the fertile face of the Earth has enfranchised every tailless sperm from his backwash semen. Maybe next time he should put his pud in the divine sock. Those holes in his hands have to be good for something.


Well, I'm off to the gym.

Then I'm going to get gay-married in California. OH WAIT.


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Dear America

Dear America,
Hey, it's me, Scott. So listen, I have, like, a little favor to ask. You're probably going to do this anyway, but I thought I'd say something just in case. Please, like, elect Barack Obama. 'Cause I really like going to the gym. The gym is, like, an important part of my life and something that I just need to do. Like a habit, or something. You know? And if John McCain is elected president, I'll get really depressed and probably won't want to go to the gym for, like, two or three months. And then I'll get really out of shape, and I probably won't be eating well during that period of time either, so it'll be even worse. And then when I finally do go back to the gym, everything will be really hard 'cause I'll be weak and stuff. And then I'll be thinking, "man, if I'd only gone to the gym the past two or three months, I'd be fucking ripped by now. IF ONLY JOHN MCCAIN HADN'T WON THE PRESIDENCY!" So, like, if you could please, elect Barack. Because I really like going to the gym. OK? I'm sure you understand. Cool. Keep in touch.

Son of the Nation,
Scott Peterson

Saturday, November 01, 2008

God Bless North America

In New Zealand, I am the one with the accent. This is a topic of conversation with about 60% of the people I meet. I had some trick-or-treat-ing kids the other night ask if I was American. Oddly enough, the large majority of adults guess Canadian. Perhaps they have offended one too many Canadians with a presumption of Yankee heritage. Americans on the other hand think nothing of being mistook for a Chinook. Kids appear less politic in their estimations.