Monday, June 19, 2006


This week I'm teaching middle school kids at the Eastview theater camp. In my group of rising 9th graders, there is a kid named Brandon. Brandon is well on the road to tranny-hood. He wears makeup and girls cloths and he makes a rather hot chick. Anyhow, each class (there are four: acting, singing, dance and tech) plays the name game so the teachers can learn everyone's name. There are many variations on the name game, but my favorite flavor is: "Hi, I'm [name] and I like [verb that starts with the same letter as name]." For example, "Hi, I'm Scott and I like swingdancing [begin swingdancing]." Now you try!

At the end of the day, all of the teachers congregate and discuss how things went. I was sitting next to Kevin. Kate (on the choir staff) was mentioning a small issue that came up during the name game. They were playing noun rules ("Hi, I'm [name] and I like [noun with same letter]") and the game came 'round to Brandon: "Hi I'm Brandon and I like boys." Then some jackass kid made a comment under his breathe. "Well Kate," I said to Kate, "that's why you should play verb rules. Then you're good unless he has the balls to say, 'I'm Brandon and I like butt sex' and starts thrusting." Then, as we're all cracking up, Kevin doubles over to reveal little six-year-old Casy sitting opposite in the circle, previously obscured by Kevin's huge head. Oops.

"Uh, hey Casy."
"You're cool, right Casy?"
"Yeah ya are."

I am a force of corruption.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Sat, June 10

I'm doing lots of cave tours. Theater camp starts next week. "The Omen" sucked more balls than a Taiwanese hooker on speed. I have a new obsession: South Park.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Fri, 6/2

A behavioral observation: during the frequent discussion with my father over my lack of summer employment, I rarely have a leg of dignity on which to stand. Without any personal power, I defer my arguments to what I consider to be the stainless deity of Logic. For instance:

Dad: "You understand that your employment this summer determines your financial situation next year."
I nod
Dad: "And you know that you won't have any money for making purchases or paying your cellphone bill."
Me: "Dad, your first statement was completely accurate: 'employment determines financial situation.' But in your second statement you blindly assume that (1) Subway won't call me back, (2) the money I make at the caves will be entirely trivial, and (3) I won't find any other work. If you have such a casual ability to prophesy the coming three and a half months, you should be making quite a bit more than you do."

In this situation, my dad is mostly right and I am ashamed, so I assault the minutia of language.

Also, Half-Life 2: Episode One is so kick-ass, I almost peed.