Requiem for the Recently Departed

The Solar System Today
A Haiku

Mercury Venus
Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn
Uranus Neptune

Etymology for President!

Venereal: The Latin adjective form of Venus - God of Love.

Adjective references to the planet use the neologism Venusian.

Eltit

What you want and what you get haven't loved each other since you were two. They separated for eight months before getting a divorce and now they only speak on holidays. But it's not your fault.

July 24, 06

AHHH!HH!H!HH!H!!!111!!!!1!!1

I just got the ALL-TIME-HIGH-SCORE on pinball. Wore yet, I was this close to getting a MILLION MORE for a total of 9.5 mill.

DAMN YOU SANTA!

Noon:30 on Friday

These days I have far less lint in my belly button than usual.

July 16

I've been unclenching my teeth a lot lately.

More from the Front Lines of 12 July

An Epiphany: The Pacific Ocean is so named for being pacific.

July 12 - Day 7,385

Played Prey all day. Grade-D story, poor animation, laughable voice acting, but damn the game is fun. And gorgeous to boot.

I delight in greek tragidies, except when they are my own.

BUTT SEX!

This week I'm teaching middle school kids at the Eastview theater camp. In my group of rising 9th graders, there is a kid named Brandon. Brandon is well on the road to tranny-hood. He wears makeup and girls cloths and he makes a rather hot chick. Anyhow, each class (there are four: acting, singing, dance and tech) plays the name game so the teachers can learn everyone's name. There are many variations on the name game, but my favorite flavor is: "Hi, I'm [name] and I like [verb that starts with the same letter as name]." For example, "Hi, I'm Scott and I like swingdancing [begin swingdancing]." Now you try!

At the end of the day, all of the teachers congregate and discuss how things went. I was sitting next to Kevin. Kate (on the choir staff) was mentioning a small issue that came up during the name game. They were playing noun rules ("Hi, I'm [name] and I like [noun with same letter]") and the game came 'round to Brandon: "Hi I'm Brandon and I like boys." Then some jackass kid made a comment under his breathe. "Well Kate," I said to Kate, "that's why you should play verb rules. Then you're good unless he has the balls to say, 'I'm Brandon and I like butt sex' and starts thrusting." Then, as we're all cracking up, Kevin doubles over to reveal little six-year-old Casy sitting opposite in the circle, previously obscured by Kevin's huge head. Oops.

"Uh, hey Casy."
"Hi."
"You're cool, right Casy?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah ya are."

I am a force of corruption.

Sat, June 10

I'm doing lots of cave tours. Theater camp starts next week. "The Omen" sucked more balls than a Taiwanese hooker on speed. I have a new obsession: South Park.

Fri, 6/2

A behavioral observation: during the frequent discussion with my father over my lack of summer employment, I rarely have a leg of dignity on which to stand. Without any personal power, I defer my arguments to what I consider to be the stainless deity of Logic. For instance:

Dad: "You understand that your employment this summer determines your financial situation next year."
I nod
Dad: "And you know that you won't have any money for making purchases or paying your cellphone bill."
Me: "Dad, your first statement was completely accurate: 'employment determines financial situation.' But in your second statement you blindly assume that (1) Subway won't call me back, (2) the money I make at the caves will be entirely trivial, and (3) I won't find any other work. If you have such a casual ability to prophesy the coming three and a half months, you should be making quite a bit more than you do."

In this situation, my dad is mostly right and I am ashamed, so I assault the minutia of language.

Also, Half-Life 2: Episode One is so kick-ass, I almost peed.

Friday, May 12

The universe is amazing not when it is complex, but when it is simple.

Monday, May 8

• Steve and I drank a gallon of milk and ate a dozen doughnuts*. Uuuuuuuuu. We no feel so good.
• I've rummaging through my head, sifting for adjectives, but I can't seem to find any which do Oblivion justice. The game is spiff!
  

*They were free!

Moving Back

• John K. and I watched MI3. Phillip-Seymor Hoffman is sohoho evil, it's awesome (p.s., I didn't know Kevin Spacy was the new Lex Luther. WOW am I psyched for that!).
• So I stayed up all night not-packing, and then started packing at six thirty in the morning. Who says you can't pack all of your Earthly belongings in two hours?
• Well, the storage company (College Boxes) shows up, takes my contract, says they'll be back in a few minuets for the boxes, and then leaves without my shit. WHAT THE SHIT?! I practically shit a brick. My very kind suitemate agreed to hand the stuff over to those CB shitters since I had to catch my flight (which he did and all worked out well, except for the shittiness of everything).
• I shleped half of my worldly goods to the airport.
  
• In order to check three bags, one must pay an additional $80. Give me an S! Give me an H! [...]

• I have 3 minute of memory from the three hour flight.
• HOME! Dance, fools!
• Bravo! was very good, particularly the jazz band, as always they are.

What I'm noticing these days: Logos, fonts, typefaces.

5/4

This incredible paper is due to-morrow/day and I haven't gotten a wink of sleep. Perhaps you don't appreciate the state of my standing in this class. It is terrible! On an unrelated note, my attention span these days is total shit. I entirely blame tabs in Firefox. Incidentally, if you're not using Firefox, I seriously don't want to know you.

5/01

So, we finished our final performance of Cloud Nine today, which brings an end to my second year of studio. I have no conclusions. The kids hit Limerick's afterward and I found the whole party very uncomfortable.

I have a new pedestration game. I imagine being where I am looking, looking at myself walking. I envision what the world looks like to the people I pass: what do they notice, where do they look, who do they see (me?) and what's of interest behind my back. I also sometimes pick a spot across the street or atop a building or within a vehicle and wonder how the view is from there.

4/21

• StrawberryFest!
• My sister is the state champion in story telling!
  

Recently

• I've been lazy.
• I've watched Bullshit!
• I've thought about how lazy I've been.

"Naked people are their own reward." -Penn Jillete

Monday, April 3

• When God pours rain on my inept selection of wardrobe and my thong sandals give the blisters on my feet a hellava tickle, I find it best to think of the starving AIDS children in Africa.
• I raged all day.

"I bet Romeo marries his Juliet. They have a baby and make lots of friends, that's probably the way the play ends!" - Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical

Sunday, April 2

• I woke up at Tiffs around 2:30 (she was still asleep) and headed home.
• I flounced about.
• I beheld the Once is Never Enough musical review at Adler. It was capital fun.
  
• I then slunk into Been So Long during intermission. Oh my lord! Clare directed five wonderful forth years in a fantastic production. Franklin was actually in both the musical review and Been So Long. He is lovely. Molly and Kate (whom I barely know) were piss awesome and Alex - really the only cast member with whom I am acquainted - was present also. Nick made five.
• I glew home, and so ended my day.