Sunday, November 28, 2010

miss you, thanks

i think maybe the bad feelings i am feeling are a quesadilla scorned. that is lucky for the two big glasses of wine to either side of my computer. lucky for me too? for us? donkey kong?
i had thanksgiving with my family. next to my parents' house's little downstairs bed is a pocket george carlin quote book on the nightstand and seeing it made me miss george. he joked with real feeling and he knew how to use words either for or against his audiences.
one birthday in high school sam gave me rant in e-minor and i would fall asleep to it downstairs. bill died when i was 6 in atlanta. our kitchen then had fresh pine green grout and for five minutes every school day while mom made breakfast i would throw an afghan over the floor vent and curl up in my clothes on my side between this blanket and the new tile in a blow of warm air. and like a fetus i would listen to her tv for bush and hussein and clinton and gays in the military to make news on our refinished countertop. bill's material was still fresh in high school. and is today. i also miss bill.
what else should i say about thanksgiving? i hope i'm not feeling the turkey. i ate this quesadilla for lunch but have felt crummy all day. and in my sleep. and last night. i was bumped into first class both ways so maybe that could be it.