Disinterested Party Animal

Alcohol is the best way to make regular people interesting.
If I'm the one drinking.
And they're actually hookers.

Alcohol is the best way to make ugly people pretty.
If there are no pretty people at the party.
And the theme is "Relaxed Standards."

Alcohol is the best way to make children feel grown up.
And pretty and interesting.
Especially if they're hookers.

Child prostitutes are the best way to make perverts feel good.
And pretty and interesting.
But also old in a sad kind of way.

People are the best way to make alcohol feel digested.
And regurgitated on the cat.
Then digested again, by the cat.

Domestic abuse is the best way to make alcoholics interesting.
And their wives and children ugly.
And later, alcoholic.

Sex is still the best way to make babies.
But not with child prostitutes.
They are too young.

And, of course, alcohol is the best way to have sex.
With regular people,
Interesting people,
Ugly people,
Pretty people,
Children,
Perverts,
Victims of domestic abuse,
And cats.