Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Subtle Difference Between "Certainly" and "Absofuckinglutely"

The human brain has two hemispheres, three sections, four lobes, and 100 billion neurons capable of performing 100 trillion operations a second. Somewhere in that 3 pounds of bio-electric tissue can be found the subtle difference between Certainly and Absofuckinglutely. Exempli gratia: I was certainly going to graduate when I wrote this post and then spent each subsiquent night staring at my ceiling and pondering the final paper which I never actually turned in but knew certainly wouldn't matter. Certainly. Mmm hmm.

Whereas today after my my final grades were posted, I know that I am absofuckinglutely going to graduate. So I don't need to inspect my ceiling anymore.

This book, the Bible, is too ridiculous for criticism - Thomas Paine