Monday, February 18, 2008

Lactose Indeterminate

I get my milk from a machine. This machine is big and made of shiny metal and has two rubber hosey-things. From the left tubey-like-thing cometh the skim, and from the right utter-like spigot ushers forth whole. Above each rubber teat hangs a weighted lever. Lift the lever, get the white stuff.

I was raised since birth (well, perhaps not since birth - I don't actually know if I was breast-fed. mem. ask the mum) to drink only of the skim. As you may know, I recently took to the right lever. Well, for reasons I won't go into, I'm back again to skim. There is a slight problem, however. In my time with the Big Metal Milk Machine, I've spent two years lifting the left lever three times a day and a year at the right lever. I have muscle memory for both skim and whole. So these days when I go to grab my cow nectar, my body will automatically load one of its two "get the milk" routines and if I'm not paying attention, I won't find out what kind of milk I have until I sit down for a sip. It's a little bit exciting.