Sunday, May 13, 2007


I've had two wet dreams in the last two nights. That's very odd. Around December the same thing happened: two nights of nocturnal emission. Prior to that, I hadn't had a wet dream since I was like, 13 or something. Back then (in December, I mean, not 1998) it was suggested by some that I hadn't masturbated frequently enough, but I had. In fact, I believe I jacked it on both the nights in question. Now, however, is a different story. I haven't wanked recently at all, but with good cause. I have a bit of a scrape - a flesh wound, really - on my penis. I don't want to talk about how it got there. Actually, I really don't want to talk about it at all. OK, maybe I shouldn't have brought this up. Listen, the point is, I've got a boo-boo on my pee-pee so I haven't yanked the lizard and now I'm spewing spooge in my sleep.

Speaking of sleep and sex, I had an unrelated but very bizarre sex dream the other night. I dreamed that Baily and I were fornicating and I looked over to a mirror at my side. Visible in the mirror were three figures: Baily on bottom, a man on top of her with his head turned the other way, and another man on top of him. The man on the very top was facing the mirror and had a very familiar face: mine. My first thought was that I must clearly be the man on top since A) he has my face, and B) he is facing the mirror, which is where I must logically be looking in order to be seeing him. My second thought however was that I must actually be the man in the middle, since I am very obviously fornicating with Baily. I then remembered something James Tripp recently told me: that everyone in our dream is actually ourself. It therefor made sense that the man on top had my face since I am everyone in my dream, and I therefor concluded that I must be the man in the middle. I turned from the mirror and remarked to Baily, "I think someone else is here." We stopped copulating and I slowly turned around to see a large and completely strange man standing over us. I immediately woke up, an instant before screaming.