i have a job

a career really. i am a senior software engineer. i am happy. i just opened a bank account. i will get a cell phone. i am going to be a real boy! again! maybe things will work out in this hemisphere.

UPDATE!

I AM STILL ALIVE!

And also...

I AM WELL!

What else?

I JUST BAKED DEEEELIIIIICIOUSSSSSSSS BANANA BREAD!!!

And what, pray tell, was the banana bread baking theme song?

REVEREND HORTON HEAT, SILLY!

Anything else?

YES!

What?

GTA IV IS FUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!

Four exclamation points seems excessive.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's enough.

YOU'RE ENOUGH

What does that even mean?

!!!!!!

OK, I'm going away now.

I WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHAHAHAHHAHA

weeks end

• spent the weekend in boston with aaron
• we worked
• and ate incredibly well
• including two consecutive feast-grade bar-b-cues at guy's
• and i got to finally meet guy
• and hang with aaron and miguel and david and brad and jeffrey and anthony
• and then ben won his thing
• and we drove back
• and ben leaves tomorrow

"You can have these girls with no tits, just lop off what little they have and then turn them into a cute boy. It’s not hard to do." - Hernan Bas

My Implements Of Poetry

1)

An indignant fucking disdain for everything including you
know who
which is just a mechanism
for the defense of the precious jewel of my virginity- I MEAN EGO!

2)

A
vicious,
dripping,
ripping,
snarling,
snapping my muzzle with quick and deadly chomps,
and downright unchristian
hatred of somebody's stinking gutty wuts,
and a vocabulary

3)

People who do nice things for me

4)

Desire
the kind you don't want
to think or talk or write about anymore
than the gods of art require
the kind involving travel
at very high cost
the kind that doesn't really make any fucking sense
whatsoever
at all
and never did
the kind that dare not speak its
motherfucking name
'cause if it does you're gonna
FUCK BITCHES UP
and the indefinite "you" here is obviously me

5)

People I love

6)

Myself

7)

A silly little itch to get shit out
a thought or
sound or
pair of eyes
so that you think and say and want
the same silly little shit
and the indefinite "you" here is really you

8)

A different version of myself

9)

NEIN!

10)

Happy fuzzy bunnies and squirrels that cum candy cane rainbows of delicious joy all over my smiling face are you fucking kidding me? no you fucking cunt,
I am fucking scared and
horny and
mad and
really sad and
sometimes optimistic and
usually clever but
mostly narcissistic and
never wrong
never

faster than a speeding bullet point

• i am going to quickly fill you in on my life. if i go too fast, you can always read slower.
• in a surprise turn of events, the super job offer i had was withdrawn. it was an awful situation. i feel terrible about it. i am currently accepting pity - verbal, non-verbal, and edible - so please give generously.
• in consequence of which, i have NOT been going out or having fun or making friends or getting laid.
• instead, i sit around my castle in mourning attire, awaiting the handsome youth of the duke's dispatch to educate me on the radiance of my beauty, and the cruelty my reclusion does the world.
• ben is moving to san diego on the 21st. this also makes me a sad panda.
• i briefly entertained the notion of joining him for a few months and living large in the ca sun.
• i ruled against it in the interest of the job hunt. i want a job in new york, so that's what i'm focusing on.
• i've already been contact by six companies and i have a phone interview in about five minutes.
• we have a new roommie: jessica. i like her.
• i get up late, i stay up late, i work, i look for work. i don't eat as well as i should. i (still) don't have a gym. i run sometimes. yeah.
  

i don't want to talk about it

until one of my immediate family members is brutally butchered to death on christmas morning, this is probably the single worst day of my life. i don't see what i did wrong, but i clearly fucked up my entire future. for now, at least. i'm not ready to kill myself, but i'm about ready to lock myself in the bathroom and sit in the tub until my wrinkles are permanent.

4am

everybody passes out
and i'm about
to put a chopstick
through my eye
until sleep finds
my restful
cyclops
corpse.

seriously.

happy 4th!

Princess Bob

lovely and fair,
the princess bob sits
by the window
of the tower
in the castle
and i stare.

princess mine
radiates
golden glances
on the fields
on the town
on the people all around me and
sometimes so very near
that i can feel his gaze divine.

princess inaccessible,
come down!
i am saving all my happiness
for when we spend
our summer smiles
picking peaches
on our horses,
gator-baiting in your moat,
and after twilight
we might even kiss!
or do other things
which are guessable.

desired,
you sit in the sky
alone with your dresses
and people and fields and fathers ignore you
but i adore you!
i sit with you all night
and don't get tired.

check out that ass!

my fine, fine ass heads off the pics from the evb party casting couch. i was defiantly the couch slut and most of the omitted "blowjobs, handjobs and cockshots hard and soft" probably involved me. thanks to the nice collective for the great getup.