Pop Quiz

How much of my wallet got stolen today:

1. The laundry card
2. Two of fifteen dollars
3. My old Duane Reade receipts
4. All of it

If you answered "All of it," you're the big winner. What do you win? Well friend, you do not win money, or laundry credit, old receipts, or even a driver's license, student ID, credit card or MetroCard. No, you win the grand pleasure of loaning me cash. Use the privilege wisely.

Why I like writing code better than writting essays

I confess, while writing this post I came to realize that these two things are more alike and I would prefer. The main difference between writing code and writing essays is that you immediately know what your code does.

This game is amazing.

21: A Space Odyssey

It was my 21st birthday yesterday.

• I slept in.
• I had a nice rehearsal.
• I saw some 15 minute plays.
• My friends bought me lots of drinks. I was terribly drunk. I love them.
• I went home.
• I got into bed.
• The fire alarm went off. At 3 in the morning.
• We egressed. I was still terribly drunk.
• We regressed. I was still terrible drunk.
• I got back into bed.
• I fell asleep.

The End.

I'm in Shock

Grindhouse is the best cinematic experience I've ever had. Ever.

Statistics

Exactly 2 years ago on April 20th, 2005, Google launched Search History, allowing users to record every search they make and every result they visit. Two years worth of searches must say something about me, so here are the stats:

In the 730 days from 7:19pm, 20 April 2005 to 12:45am, 20 April 2007...

• I conducted 12,173 searches. That's an average of 16.68 searches per day.
  
• There are 44 days on which I conducted no searches.
• The longest search-free stretch came over the five days from 31 July - 4 Aug of '06. I was visiting Lex in Austin TX at the time.
  
• The hour of day when I search most is 12 - 12:59am: 1,063 searches.
• The hour of day when I search least is 7 - 7:59am: 11 searches.
• The day of the week on which I search most is Tuesday: 1,951 searches.
• The day of the week on which I search least is Friday: 1,518 searches.
• The top month is August with 1,436 searches.
• The bottom month is July with 716 searches.
• My first recorded search was: order the guy in a chicken suit to do things (I was looking for the Subservient Chicken).
  
• My most frequent search queries include
• stock:GOOG - Clicking on Google's stock price on my homepage used to perform this search.
  
• gmail - I often just type this into Firefox's location bar as a quick way to get to Gmail. FF then does an "I'm Feeling Lucky" search which shows up in my search history.
  
• azureus - Back when I would reinstall Windows every six months, this was one of my first downloads.
  
• media player classic - As was this.
  
• summer of code - Been doing this search a lot lately. The SoC URL is tough to remember.
  
• steam - I use this query when I'm testing a new search feature.
  
• daily show - I used to do this search to find the Daily Show video page. These days I use YouTube.

I love statistics and I especially love statistics about myself. I'll have some really interesting numbers to share with you in a few weeks which I've been collecting for some time, but until then I hope this quenches your thirst for me-related data.

Well, be!

You're in Luck

6 months ago I informed you - "threatened" might be more accurate - that you had until April 19, 2007 to switch to Ubuntu or else I would not be your friend anymore. Well it's April 19 and guess what: you're in luck! because I'm officially extending the deadline*. You now have all the way until at least October 18th to mend your wicked ways. Generous of me, I know, but that's just who I am. Now for the good news: the new version of Ubuntu is available today, right on schedule.

Now listen up. You don't have to install Ubuntu (yet), but you really ought to. Here's why:

• At the tantalizing price of FREE, it's cheaper than just about anything else out there, Vista included.
• It's easier to use than any version of Windows. The Mac is still the easiest, but I refer you again to point one.
• Far and away, this is the best version of Ubuntu yet! Obviously, but this release has some major enhancements to ease the move from Windows. OS migration tools, automatic audio/video codec downloading, vendor-provided graphics drivers, and network management are just the highlights. It also has Wicked Retarded desktop effects (disabled by default).
• It is free. No, not "free" as in "I refer you again to point one," but "free" as in "freedom." Emancipate yourself from the shackles of proprietary operating systems. Resistance is not futile. Join the revolution!
• I will love you if you do. I may still like you if you don't (at least until 18 Oct), but switching to Ubuntu guarantees you a special place in my heart.
• All the cool kids are doing it. I mean, I'm doing it. Come on!
• You will get cancer if you don't. It's true. I read it somewhere.
• Vagina.

So those are just some of the great reasons to start using Ubuntu. What are you waiting for? Head on over to Ubuntu.com and grab this bad boy. Baby Jesus wants you to.

* The reason I'm extending the deadline is that Beryl/Compiz default enablement slipped again.

t - ter - test

Great living American, or Greatest Living American?

Torrential Rain!

It was raining like a mathafaka today, all day. Crazy, crazy rain. April. Pshaw.

Watch this.

Saturday

Regular people are painfully uninteresting. Didn't do much of anything today.

Thursday, 12 April

• Masked Drama was abbreviated today.
• Saw Alex Lindsay speak. He's great.
• Afforded only 15 minuets to work out. FrownyFace.
  
• Rehearsed until my vocal cords were no more.
• Listened to audio from a debate entitled "We'd be better off without religion." Check it out here. The first speaker is my favorite.
• Quiznos' toaster was broken. Boooo!

If I could have the answer to one question, it would be, "Are humans psychologically determinate?"

I'm In!

To the Google Summer of Code, that is. Better still, both of my applications were accepted. Applicants can only work on one project, so I received an IM from Joe Shaw (head of the Beagle project, to which I had applied) asking on which project I would prefer to work. Despite having earlier told myself that I would take Beagle if given the chance, I decided to go with the other project: porting Banshee to Windows. I've started a blog just about the project, so if you're interested you can keep up on that. Hopefully that means you won't suffer too many highly-technical posts on this blog. Hopefully.

This thing pays $4,500. Sveet!

Haha

I had the best laugh I've had in a long time last night with Grant. Today I was late for class because I thought it started at 10:30. It began at 9:30.

We say "take a shit" when we really mean "leave a shit."

Grrr

There are repairs happening on the side of our building. It involves hammering and drilling and loud Spanish. It's very annoying.

Strike, Drum!

This Washington Post article has me looking at street musicians with new eyes.

Easter an All

Happy Easter. This has been a three-day weekend for me which has been vry nahs. I made a Gtk user interface for my brainfuck interpreter/compiler and I may do a Forms one for the benefit of all those Windows brainfuck developers.

The worst part about being right is actually being wrong.

Branching Attention

I previously mentioned my propensity to jump from article to article when browsing Wikipedia. Well, I noticed myself doing it today and thought I'd share my journey. Thank God for Firefox's "Undo Close Tab" command!

• MSN
• Windows Live
• Microsoft Passport Network
• Windows Live ID
• MSNBC
• Countdown with Keith Olbermann
• Keith Olbermann
• Criticism of Bill O'Reilly
• Outfoxed (on Google Video)
• LexisNexis
• American Civil Liberties Union

I didn't hit that many pages, but Outfoxed was over an hour long. Good Good Friday, everyone!

I Dreamt A Dream Tonight

Actually, two nights ago. In my dream, I missed a segment on The News Hour with Jim Lehrer about a gravity machine. I went to the NYU library to see an archive of the piece. At the reception desk was my friend James (who works the 2nd floor desk at Adler). I showed him my student ID and he signaled me toward a viewing theater. I entered the room and a news segment began playing, but it was the wrong one. I stepped out of the theater to inquire about the mixup, but rather than find James behind the desk, I saw Jim Lehrer laying on a bed, naked, masturbating. I retreated to the theater and waited some minutes until I thought it safe again. When I re-emerged, I stood face to face with Jim Lehrer's wife. Then I woke up.

The Most Hated Family in America

The Most Hated Family in America

A fascinating BBC2 doc on the Phelps family.

Brainfucker

My brainfuck compiler is now an open source project. Check it out here.

Thanks to J.B. Evain for some pointers and for the wonderful Cecil.

Monday

There is one genuinely older person in my life who I would love to fuck.

April Fool's Day

I'm a fool. I'm from April. I guess I'm an April Fool.

FRIDAY:

• Class and rehearsal.
• I went to see Pete & James' show. It included a piece I had previously seen often in Speech (Pillow Talk).
• Libby treated James and me to dessert. She's my Juliet.
• I went home.
• I dinked around on the InterTubes until 2am.
• At 2am, I decided I ought to write a brainfuck compiler in C#.
• I went to bed.

SATURDAY:

• I started writing a brainfuck compiler in C#.
• I got food.
• I finished writing a brainfuck compiler in C#.

SUNDAY (April Fool's Day):

• Rehearsal.
• I saw no less than seven Honda Elements roaming city streets today. Luckily, there were people within punching distance on each occasion.
• Gym.
• Goddamn Upstien was Goddamn closed. Goddamnit.
  

Thursday, March 29th Was Awesome

As you may already know, today was awesome. I woke up to a call at 9am from my masked drama teacher. He was phoning to tell me that our 11 o'clock class was canceled. He also said I was a wonderful actor with whom he would love to work in the future. +2 ego, +5 sleep.

I got up at 2, took a shower, shaved, and had a samich. Then I saw a wonderful presentation by Ken Perlin. He sounds a little like Wally Shawn. Then I had Chipotle with a friend. It was back to the dorm for some good porn and a great wank. Then I watched the News Hour and they had a sensational story about the trial of Hamlet (audio). This is the first (and probably only) rehearsal day when I am not called, so I went to the gym and had dinner. I took another shower and turned on my computer to write this post. 10 minutes till the Daily Show. What a great day.

Mar 27

The weather today in New York was beautiful. And I'm not just making small talk to get into your pants. Believe me, it was better than most any other weather.

I had (some) class today. I had a brief but fierce time @ ze gym. Then it was rehearsal, which was super duper. Then Jennifer* bought me dinner. Did I mention the weather was obscenely awesome? It brought my drooling vagina every moist pleasure this life has to offer.

* No, I don't know Jen either.

Sunday, March 25

Went to the gym in the first time in 2 1/2 weeks. It was severely intense.

"Saying you're patriotic is like saying you have a big cock: if you have to say it, chances are it's not true." -Bill Maher

Excerpt

"I have a special talent, want to see?"

Before I tell you what her talent was, I feel like I should tell you about everything that I hoped it would be at the time. The first thing that came to my mind was the idea that she wanted to show off her incredible talent at giving head. When she made a move toward the bed instead of my chair, that fantasy was quickly upgraded to a talent of being able to provide hot, wild sex to any male in need. My eyes were wide and I was ready to pounce on her.. She planted herself on the bed, leaned back, lifted her knees up, grabbed them and spread her legs, revealing her rather large vagina to me. I was on the edge of my seat, leaning forward, ready to dive in..

She... had a look on her face. It wasn't the look that I was hoping for. It was more a look of intense concentration. I wasn't sure if I was disappointed yet because I somehow knew that something very special was about to happen. I thought about the possibilities. Perhaps she was going to coax herself to a squirting orgasm without touching. Perhaps she had a ping-pong ball hidden in there, ready to fly in my direction with the right contraction of her muscles. Maybe she just had a really awkward way of seducing men. Nothing I could think of, though, could prepare me for what I was about to... hear.

It came in disjointed sequence at first; a little out of tune perhaps. It improved as she went along, though. The sounds she was making with her vagina drew my attention in. I was mesmerized. She was queefing "Mary Had A Little Lamb." If you think about all the kids you cheered in middle school as they performed an armpit symphony or belched the alphabet in a single breath, they had nothing on Mirium. This was divine. I applauded.

PORN! From the inside (Part 2)

4-22

It was warm today. I wore shorts.

Little Blessings

God bless the one-turd shit.

Spring Break Wrapup

Spring break has come and gone. The Cliff Notes:

• Ate lots of food. (I'm slowly spooning chunky peanut butter down my gullet at this very moment)
• Mommy bought me some new cloths.
  
• Had lots of quality Brittany Time(tm).
• Made a program for my Mum to handle a misbehaved digital camera (it doesn't work because Windows sucks the fuck).
• Applied for the Google Summer of Code.
• Watched Stranger Than Fiction and Zodiac and 300 (at the IMAX with Beckman) and Casino Royal.
• My cousin Josh stopped over for a day on his way to Mexico.
• I am still the Undisputed Pinball Master of the Universe(tm). UPMOTU FTW!
  

Wanna die? Everyone's doin' it.

Fuck You

• Fuck you, Canal St
• Fuck you, Windows
• Fuck you, Project Echelon
• Fuck you, C
• Fuck you, Viacom
• Fuck you, RIAA
• Fuck you, NYU
• Fuck you, DNA
• And fuck you again, Windows

Happy Ides of March

Films and Flesh

Yesterday I saw

• Manhattan
• The Science of Sleep
• 300

Today I did a nude scene. I didn't think it was going to be a nude scene, but that's how the cookie crumbled.

Person, Place, Perception

At long last the New Year's Resolvers have fled the gym. Pre-January Monday levels are still high, but it isn't a beehive anymore. This observation reminded me of another incident a few days ago. The Weinstein all-you-can-eat dining hall (known as "Downstein," it is located below the "Upstein" food court) hits normal peak hours around 7pm on weekdays. At fill tilt, Downstein hosts about 80-100 kids and the wait for the grill is two minutes tops. Certain Saturdays, kids from an inner-city high school are fed at NYU dining halls (I don't know why).

Well, I made my Saturday lunch run to Downstein only to find a swarm in excess of 500 high school kids. Loud and rude, they held up the grill for ten minutes. By the time my order was up, there was no chicken. I left without eating and went to another dining hall, but while braving The Shit I realized how completely this throng of young people transformed the space for me. I barely recognized the room in which I stood, and in which I stand almost every day. The people made the place wholly different: I had the intense sensation that I was getting lunch back at Eastview. The crowd, the noise, the judging and the sense of being judged. It was all very transporting.

I realized that one's perception of a place is heavily tempered by the human presence in that place. The gym, Downstein, it's true anywhere.

Saturday

Saturday, 3 March, 2007 DTR: 5,515

• Guess what time I got to bed last night. SevenFuckingThirty! Boy did I need that.
• Yesterday I did the Bertram & Dianna seduction scene from All's Well. I was also a supernumerary in three other scenes. It's all about me!
• Remember, it's still RIAA Boycott Month. You haven't been buying any major label CDs, have you?

"Boooo?"

It's On!

It's RIAA Boycott Month.

Rabbit Fucking Rabbit

Oh, and it's March. yippee

C is still for...

Did I mention how completely I loath C? Let me say it again: C is for Cunt-Achingly Awful!

Mon Feb 26

Monday, 26 February, 2007 DTR: 5,519

• I stayed up really late (early) last night working on a computer project.
• I got up really late (late) today and puttered around a little.
• I really need to read a whole lot (shitloads) for tomorrow's class.
  

Probo

Probo: a hobo who gives money away.

RIAA Boycott, Strangers With Candy, &c.

March is RIAA Boycott month. Tell everyone you know.

I recently learned that Orlando, my clowning teacher last year, is in fact Orlando from Strangers With Candy. Holy fuckall. He also went to Juliard. Blow me blue! (special note: if you downloaded SWC but still haven't watched it - you know who you are - you're on notice! Watch that shit or else!)

We just had our first JimmyDay: a single 7-hour marathon class with James Edward Tripp. It is orgastic. The next two Friday's are also Jimmiganzas.

All is vanity

Interests & Such

Topics and things in which I have an extraordinary interest

• Language
• Anatomy
• Myself
• Logic and its associated fields (math, comp sci, &c.)
• Silence
• Explanations
• Death

Topics and things in which I have a subordinary interest

• Money
• Most other people
• Food
• Studying
• Music
• Meaning
• Children
  

This Just In

I hate C.

Leave it to Serotonin

I couldn't quite decide if I should hit the gym today... but Mr. Random Nap could.

President's Day

• Almost forgot there was no class today.
• Wikiwondered about various manned space missions, past and future.
• Saw Factory Girl. It was alright. Guy Pearce was exceptional.
  

Days

This blog started as a daily journal of my happenings. I've gotten significantly lazier about posting over the year, but here's a rough outline of my schedule this semester.

1. Wake up at...
1. 7* on Mon, Tues, Thur
2. 9 on Wed, Fri
2. Get breakfast**
3. Go to class***
4. Get lunch****
5. Go home and check The Internet
6. Watch The News Hour with Jim Lehrer at 7
7. Go to the gym at 8
8. Eat dinner at Palladium (the gym) at 9.30
9. Go home and do more computer stuff
10. Watch Daily Show and Colbert Report from 11-12
11. Do God knows what until I realize it's 2am
12. Crawl into bed

* 12pm if I don't go to class
** Lunch if I don't go to class
*** NOT go to class if I don't go to class
**** An early dinner if I didn't go to class

I hope this provides a useful insight into my life. If you ever look at your watch and wonder, "I wonder what Scott's doing right now?" you'll know*****. Well, goodnight everybody.

***** Or you won't know, depending on whether or not I went to class

Notes on a Scandal

Bill Nighy is my vision of God.

... Therefore iAm

New York state Senator Carl Kruger is proposing legislation to ban iPods and other consumer electronics from city sidewalks. Here's the story. Here's my letter to Senator Kruger:

Senator,
As a New Yorker much in love with my iPod, I feel obliged to rebuke your proposed ban of personal electronics from city streets. The notion that an iPod could ever lead a person ill is wholly wrongheaded: My iPod is a glistening white angel of purity who would never harm a soul. To the contrary, it's lively melodies have often a time spared me such tragedies as may befall my more languid un-plugged self. Buzz-kill, for instance, frowning, another, and dispiritedness all are avoided by the proper use of an iPod. The funky-tunes and mad-beats send a hoppin' rhythm right were one needs it most: the hips! Should I, possessed in the wild throws of trance-dancing, find my way into oncoming traffic, all the better! Young though I am, fears of a painful or disreputable death plague me oft. Murder or fall-from-great-height or asphyxiation-by-corndog seem to me as distasteful as soiling my old-man diapers for the last time. But, to be seized by the lord at the climax of Bohemian Rhapsody... ushered gently into His hands by the hood of a Buick... Hallelujah! It's not how long you live, it's how many much Queen you listened to.

Although... I'd worry about the iPod. I don't think it comes to heaven with me (they have, like, super GodPods or something up there, right?) and chances are it wouldn't fair the Buick as well as my immortal soul. Its delicate electronics strewn all about the sidewalk would be a hideous sight indeed, and the loss of a consumer device is never a pleasant affair. No, that wouldn't do at all. I'm afraid I'll have to look both ways for Mimsy's sake (Mimsy is my iPod). Very well then. I promise you, Senator, that I will not jump in front of traffic while wearing my iPod. There, all settled. Now about this proposed legislation... "What legislation?" Exactly Senator.

-Scott & Mimsy

Feb Six

• Fact: I meant to do my laundry today.
• I basically spent the whole day working on my comp project. It's lookin' nice.
  

Feb Fiv

• It is hella cold.
• Skim their primsy hoes!
  
• Not going to the gym for three days is no way to live your life.
• Clare and I were gonna go to the city's Waitangi day celebration but she was too tired, so we're just gonna drink a lot this weekend and call it belated observance.
  

COLTS!

I'll say it again. COLTS!

• Didn't hit the gym today.
  
• Had one meal.
• Watched the game (see above).
• Played Wii for the first time. Awesomenessest

Whuchoolookinaa?

More or Less

The other night I dreamt that Dick Chaney and I were solving a paranormal mystery together. I told Mr. Chaney that I thought he was a really good, honest and decent human being. What have I been smoking?

I've got a new project. I'm writing an IM client. I'll tell you more when it's awesome.

Super Bowl tomorrow!

Nothing is ruined, everything is fine.

Feh Brew Airy

It's February! It really really is.

"To Titan!" - Me, just now

Mon

• Studio.
• Went to Google for a tech talk (I'll link when it's up).
  

Finally: Snow!

As I write this, big fluffy snow flakes are falling all over the place. It's going like gangbusters!

Sat 'er Day

• The blog is back at hipolsoc.blogspot.com.
• If you get this blog via feed, be sure that you're subscribed to the feed linked to on the right: it will always point to this blog, no matter the URL.
• Comp stuff.
• Gym.
  
• Rehearsal.
• Clockwork Orange.

"Well my life has no meaning, but I'm totally sure yours does."

Thrusday the 25th

• Skipped calc.
• Loved Masked'.
• Finished Dracula.
• Whacked It.
• Pumped iron.
• Ate babies.

Just makin' sure you're still here.

Two's Day

• Food.
• Calc a.k.a. sleep.
• Food.
• Theater Studies a.k.a. sortainteresting.
• Food.
• State of The Union a.k.a. blewmyfuckingsocksoff.

Not really.

Quest Ion

Are all fashions in art and philosophy inevitable? How do we define or conceive of "all fashions?" I suppose there is no theoretical limit on the number of new kinds of art or philosophy to be imagined, but I believe the average human mind is limited in what it will accept as "art" and "philosophy." There are a near infinite number of nonsensical/arbitrary philosophies to which no sane person would earnestly subscribe. Perhaps there is a given tolerance for deviation from a central theme of Art/Philosophy which a statistical majority of our linear, discrete, biological consciousnesses are willing to accept. Perhaps one day we will fully explore that space. We will have every artistic and philosophical revolution to be had. We will then fail to recognize subsequent revolutions as being to the point of Art of Philosophy. Or maybe our minds will evolve. Are all fashions in art and philosophy inevitable?

Two Days Later

• I got to bed at 10pm last night.
• I woke up today feeling grrrreat!
• Then I sat in a chair for fouuuuuur and a half houuuuuuurs.
• I was sleeeeeepyyyyy.
• BUT THEN I had lunch.
• Pizza!
• And then I did crazy movement things. Crazy, I say!
• And and and, other stuff too um...
• There were Cheerios...
• and gym...
• and Rita Brown (a.k.a. Diarrhea Rita)...
• and I guess that's it um yeah.

!!$2 REWARD!!
Fast - Faster - Fastest
WANTED - Better - Best

The Wankers!

The Gym closes at 8 in the afternoon! on Saturdays. The Wankers!

Friday

• Our Friday studio schedule is really pretty sveet. For once!
• Read and Napped.
  
• Attended a talk by Cory Doctorow. He's always fun(ny).
  
• More food.
• Sorta got walked in on while looking at porn.

Love is the lie we tell ourselves to keep from dying.

Jan 18 (a Thursday)

• Cal Q. Luss.
• The first day of Masked Drama portends good times ahead.
• I was told today that something was, quote, "fierce." That event was, in and of itself, fierce. Recursive fierceness.
  
• I lunched (slowly) with two lovelies.
• Nappy nap nap.
  
• January means a bunch of New Year's Resolvers bunching up the weight room. Reinhardt assures me this tapers off by February.
• I saw four friends at the gym. This is odd. (Mem., am I being stalked? Should grow mustache)
• Am in high spirits.

This is my forth consecutive day of napping. What is becoming of me? Slow-eating, whole-milk-drinking, napper! Pretty soon I'll just come to a total stop.

First Day of Studio

• My fast was working, then I broke it.
• Studio once ageen. It was a bit queer. There are so few of us this semester. It was good to see some people who were away last semester (Travis, Claire, etc.).
  
• Ate at Naturally Tasty. I had eggplant.
  
• Began discussing our rehearsal-project-esk thing. Went OK. Emphasis on the OK.
• Read.
• Napped.
• Newsed.
  
• Gymed.
• Supped.
• Call my momed.
  
• Daily Showed.
• Read.
• Fixed the fast.

The speed with which I eat has precipitously declined over the last year or so. I am now a dreaded Slow-Eater. Coupled with my whole milk fixation, I expect to find horns sprouting beneath my hair any day now.

First Day of Classes

• Breakfasted.
• Calc, you old coot. My Calc teacher knows my cousin. They are both neuroscience post-grads.
• Dined.
• Read.
• Napped.
  
• History of Women Directors is going to be a lot of work.
• Supped.
• Went to the planetarium (it was closed).
  
• Watched the News.
• Fixed my computer.
• Read.
• Napped.
  

VERY Special

• Had breakfast with Nick, Lex, Antonietta and her girlfriend, Alex.
• Bade the abroad bound goodbye.
• Read.
• Napped
  
• After three weeks, I make my triumphant return to the gym. It was intense. Hooray!
• I saw no less then six people I know at the gym: KyDude, Lauren A., E. Korth, Reinhardt, Dan, and Dave my RA.
• Saw a movie with Jordi and Ross.
• There is a special ring of hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater.

Classes start at 8:55a tomorrow - excuse me, today. How fucking excited am I!

Back Again

Every time I return to the city I feel a little more like I'm coming home. My school is not a place in the way other colleges are. We half-jokingly call Washington Square Park our "campus," but it's really just a small park with lots of kids. This contributes to the homeliness of going back to school. I'm living some place that I could conceivably call home for my adult life: New York City.

The flight was fine. I've started reading Dracula (Laura gave it to me for Christmas along with The Origins of Species - she knows just what I like). I met my new roommate: Joe. He's a transfer from BU. I was delighted to learn that Lex and Nick were still in the city (they leave for Italy tomorrow). I was equally delighted to learn that Ross's girlfriend, Jordi, is living in Lafayette this semester. Ross, Jordi and I went out to dinner and then to meet Lex and Nick at a Belgium beer place. Then we came back to the room for quesadillas, muffins, movies, and bad wine. We started watching Fargo but popular opinion ultimately sided with Old School. I'm feeling well.

Live, Damnit!

My youth is fast evaporating and I say that so much even I'm getting tired of it but that doesn't mean it isn't true. Maybe I'd better do something about it. Like live.

You can tell school's about to start again 'cause I'm getting all depressed and abstract. I don't think I'm particularly good at living. I'm good at being alive. Really good. But not at living. SEE WHAT I MEAN! Depressed and abstract.

Just watched The Illusionist and 12 Monkeys. Saw Lizzy for the first and only time this winter. Had breakfast at Brit's where I also shimmied. This is not the correct order of events, by the way.

I'm ready to get back to school. I think my subconscious arranges my emotions such that I'm always ready to leave just when it's time to go. I wish I had interesting things to say, but this will have to do for now. The observation I was hoping to make can no longer be made. Ack! That post is from 2005. I'M SO OLD!!!

Word to the Wise

Bacardi Raspberry Rum and Mott's Apple Juice do not - I repeat, DO NOT mix. Tell everyone you know.

Recently

• I finished my aforementioned Phi book.
• I have an iRection.
• I have an erection.
• I've been playing the charming Russian puzzle game Full Pipe.
• I watched all of Black Books, a Britcom Sam turned me on to.
• I watched the following films:
• I [heart] Huckabees (own it)
• Blade Runner (own it)
• The Good Shepard
• Children of Men (saw twice)
• Lock, Stock & Two Smokin' Barrels
  
• Midnight Cowboy
• A History of Violence
  
• K-PAX (own it)
• Starship Troopers (own it)

Who knows what adventures await me...
Just around the river bend!

Come into my parlor...

Must watch:

The Unsuccessful Older Brother

Two coconuts ARE NOT ENOUGH!
I'm a hungry monkey and I don't have a mommy or the agricultural expertise to cultivate domesticated dairy cows, and I need milk like right monkey now!
Ooh Ooh Ahh Ahh Eek Van Winkle Almighty God Hail Consumerism I Love You WHAT KIND of stupid noise do I need to make to get more coconuts?!
I'll dance.
I'll eat shit.
I'll go to space.
The family is falling apart and so much for "Great."
Of the kibbles - red and green - which is better for the teeth?

Footnote

For now, at least, this blog can be found at
www.lunchtimemama.com

I'm sleepless in bed, so I wrote this instead

There's nighttime, there's bedtime, and then there's sleep time. There's dream time, there's wake time, there's day and lunch and light and dark and long and short time. There's plenty of and especially there isn't any time. There's tea and game and the right and not a good and half and over and quiet and supper and winter and summer time. There's do you have the and I've lost track of time. There's a time to live and a time to die. There's a time for love and a time for other stuff too. There's night time, there's bed time, and then there's sleep time.

The No. 1 Rule of Lying

Never ever ever ever ever lie to yourself.

Parsing Base64 Encoded Smart Playlists from iTunes Music Library.xml

Dear Google,
I commit this post to your index in the hopes that it may one day satisfy the query of a woebegone programmer desiring, for some unholy reason, to interpret the Base64 encoded binary representation of the logical criteria of smart playlists in the iTunes Music Library.xml file, for the fate they should otherwise suffer is a hell I know all too well. They are to rejoice, for the code is neigh. And Behold! for it is C#. Alas, it is not the prettiest of code; I am young and strange to the ways of computer science; but it does work. It is to be found in SmartPlaylistParser.cs and in Enums.cs, and the project to which this code is a part is to be found here, and a demonstrable screencast of the project is here. And, dear Google, should you lead the curious coder hither, and should this post prove to be "just what [they] needed," how I hope they will send me an email to let me know (lunchtimemama at gmail) for it would positively make my day! I trust this gives you all the keywords you need to unite them and me in happy fortune. Good indexing!

-SP

Do you have stairs in your house?

It is Tuesday, January Second, Two Thousand and Seven. I'm just back from "Miss Zula" Montana where I spent four days with Sam & Co. [insert more description here]

I've posted before about the deleterious effect tabbed browsing has on my attention span, but it promotes another behavioral pattern: "branching attention." My tendency toward branching attention is most obvious when I browse Wikipedia. As I read, I will detour into other topics of interest. Ten links later, I've got a scrolling row of tabs and more info than I'll ever need about the ampersand. As I finish the distal articles, I move precipitously toward the original topic, branching every now and again. At long last, I complete the prime page as well as a journey through the wisdom of man. I'm always surprised to find where I end up. One of these days I ought to map such a WikiWalk and post it.

Branching attention online is salient because it's easy to branch (open link in new tab) and it's easy to get back (close tab), but I was surprised to notice this habit persisting offline. As you may recall, I recently had some time to kill in the La Guardia Airport. The only book I recognized from terminal shop's pitiful selection was The Da Vinci Code. I read a hundred or so pages before encountering the number Phi. As chance would have it, I then happened upon a book devoted entirely to the topic of the golden ratio and I made Steve buy it for me. Da Vinci is now on hold while I read my Phi book, which I am enjoying very much. There have been numerous references to other tomes on math, art, philosophy and more, but I think I'm going to check my offline branching: books are a lot more expensive than tabs.

Home for the Holidays

This is the first time I will spend Christmas away from my family. My dad's an airline pilot, you see, which means I fly for free, but only if there's extra room on the plane. Paying customers first. There were no open seats on any flights to MSP today, or yesterday, or the day before. Lucky for me, tomorrow's flights are wide open: nobody travels on Christmas day.

Waiting all day at the airport wasn't fun (nor was an additional $70 in cab fairs), but I'm not really busted up about spending Christmas eve/morning alone in a chimneyless apartment. We (my family) don't have a real tree this year. It's some synthetic simulacrum; a geometrically perfect and odorless arrangement of plastic. I already have my main Christmas present: an Alaskan hat (received in advance for Neil's broomball party). So I don't miss the tree, I don't miss the presents. I don't miss the fam (I spent last week at home). I don't really miss The Event (you know me and my religious holidays).

Sure I'd rather be home. I'd rather not spend Christmas day on a plane, and I'd really rather it were not a 6:20 AM flight. But on balance, I can't complain. I'll have a soothing Christmas Eve wank, read a book (I'm still on Exodus), and then go...

Home for the Holidays.

The Antilogical Argument

God is the most perfect thing.
God does not exist.
It is more perfect not to exist than to exist.

Take that ontological argument!

It's A Shame

It's a shame I have to be an atheist and I blame religion. If these issues had been settled by now we would all be post-theist, paying no more than academic bemusement to the lore of yore.

God was shot in the head on November 24, 1859 and died 22 years later. We ought to have held a tidy funeral, paid final respects, mourned for a polite 50 years, and been done with it. God may be in his grave, but religion is proving more difficult to kill. It is much better organized, better supported, and better funded.

I show up, a century postmortem, and we're still in stage one. Thanks religion. Now I've got to be an atheist. Yuk.

Give me a Stone Hendge and I will give you a pegan dance!

Merry Winter Solstice, northern hemisphere!

It's December 21, 2006!

I use one composition notebook for every class for the whole semester. Today I am filling the last blank pages with an essay for European Drama. What timing! I was leafing through the chicken scratch to see what all I had learned these past four months. The pages included:

• Code
• IPA
• Sketch comedy scripts
• A few doodles
• 8 pages of writing done with my non-predominant hand (the left)
• Blog posts. Some posted, others not.
• Reminders and notes
• Thoughts

I wrote some stuff while sitting in Washington Square Park one day. Here are excerpts:

I'm sitting in the most, I guess, beautiful part of WSP, but it smells. There are perfectly yellow leaves falling all around me. There are newspapers and a trashcan nearby. I imagine that is what smells.

...

When I was walking to the river last Sunday, it occurred to me that almost all of the trees in the city have been castrated. They grow through tree-trunk sized holes in the concrete, spaced at precise distances. Each season, they spill their seeds upon the infertile pavement.

...

I don't crave attention. I crave interest.

...

The length of my hair leads me to certain new mannerisms and habits.

...

I love language. It gives form and order to thought. I enjoy the order of language, even past its point of usefulness. Syntax, for example. Language can be wrong in its grammar but correct in its thought, and it is wrong. There is a whole other level of "right" and "wrong" which has nothing to do with logic or morality, only conformance to rule. I enjoy this abstraction. It allows me to differentiate a "right" from a "wrong" without the encumbering ambiguities of logic or morality. I wonder how the English language has shaped the nature of my thinking. Greatly, I suppose. Nearly all of my thoughts occur in English and such a saturation of grammar, rules, violations, exceptions, and idiosyncrasies in the language have undoubtedly tempered the content of my thoughts in some way. Language is meant to serve thoughts. However, over time I'm sure the human mind, so often occupied with the translation of thought to word, begins to shade and alter the germinal thoughts as a consequence of the language.

Jos Ceausescu!

Olivialog

Parts of myself I particularly like:

• Top of Head (when bald)
• Ankles
  
• Eyes (appearance and quality of operation)
  
• Toes
• Eye lashes
• Teeth
• Clavicle
  

Ought: way cooler than Should

Winter Break Prologue is over: four days at home. They included...

• Krispy Kreme with Steve
• Bravo with everyone
• Perkins with 3/4 Blackmans
• Big Labowski with Sam
• MOA with 4/4 Blackmans
• Dinner with Beckmans, Blackmans, Hangs and Petersons
• Broomball with everyone
• Mafia with nearly everyone

I'm back in NY for a final on Thursday. I have other things to do. I return for Winter Break Part II on Friday. Winter Break Section C happens around Dec 30 in M'Zoola Montana with Blackmans et co. I am so happy to see Sam.

Spe me my rife!

This Revolution Has Just Begun

Today was our final performance of Mad Forest. It was well received. It was not a satisfying experience for me. As one of my characters remarks, "I felt empty." It is a sentiment others in the cast share. I was sincerely complimented by some whose opinions I greatly respect. It is on these nuggets that an ego survives the drought.

Home, and Sam, in two days! I'm psyched.

Remember the Failures

We tend to remember our failures more than we need to. I do at least. Here is the story of my most loathed personal failure.

On the very first day of school, mom and I strode down to the bus stop to wait with the other neighborhood kids and their folks. We were a mess of pictures and hugs and final bits of advice - "What ever you do, don't hold it in all day!" That big yellow motorbus put an end to the festivities and it was goodbye for real and, alright another hug and, OK one more picture and, really goodbye for real this time. I probably waved at mom and yelled something sweet, and then I turned to mount the steps of the bus. The driver was a nice, plenty large woman whose name left me sometime around middle school. She welcomed us aboard with a friendly smile and invited us to sit wherever we liked. I took a seat next to a young girl of about my age. We discussed the sort of things four-year-olds might discuss on the first day of school: our names, our lunches, and Sesame Street.

When we arrived at Teasley Elementary, I said goodbye to my new friend and took that first trepedacious step onto the path of academic enlightenment. That path has not been an easy one for me. I couldn't read at all until third grade, middle school and high school grades were nothing of which to be proud, my senior year transcript appears to depict attempted academic suicide, and I would not have gotten into this respectable university if mom had not personally cashed in favors with the principal. Even now I am astonishingly close to failing out of higher education all together. But none of these monumental failings in personal discipline, academic responsibility, even honesty and integrity, have trumped in frequency or duration of loathing remembrance the blunder I made my second week on the job.

Our parents continued walking us to the bus stop the next few days, each morning taking fewer photos, shedding fewer tears and offering less advice - "Geez mom, I know how to go to the bathroom!" By Friday, they stopped chaperoning all together. Through most of that week, I would locate my new girlfriend and try to sit beside her if the space was open. Then came Monday.

On the first day of the second week, our rolly-polly bus driver doled out seating assignments. The purpose of such a thing, I gather, is to bring order to a bus worth of prepubescent chaos. These assignments were carefully devised to maximise busly harmony by matching bench pairs for ideal personal compatibility. A week had been given to behavioral observation and psychological profiling (no doubt aided by the poorly concealed video camera and the magno-mirror-enhanced eye of our supposedly innocuous "bus driver," doubtlessly former KGB), all of which was analyzed by NASA supercomputers to produce the perfect seating configuration. This seating assignment would see us through a successful kindergarten year and onto a bright future in further grades. But I missed the point.

Monday, Ms. Bus Driver pointed to, "your seat, Scott." As a rule, I was not an obedient child, but these were my first days out of the nest and I was eager to please. I spotted my lady buddy and waved to her as I took the prescribed seat next to some nobody booger-eater. For some reason, it never occurred to me that this seat assignment was any kind of permanent rule. I was told to sit somewhere and I did. Mission Accomplished. Done and done. Gold star for me! Sure, it didn't seem very logical to be given a seat assignment for one day only, but when had I known adults to be logical?

Come Tuesday, I spied my old bus compadre and beelined to her half-occupied bench. We were just catching up when Madame Schoolbus spoke the most painfully inditing words I have ever heard: "Scott, why are you sitting there?" She was not upset, merely curious. Curious as to how anyone would ignore so simple a direction. I quickly figured out what she meant, where I was supposed to be, and what had gone wrong. No one laughed or teased me - I don't think anyone noticed. It was the most uneventful indiscretion, yet every day on the bus for the rest of the year, I was helpless but to remember. I decided some months afterward that the driver surely must have forgotten the incident, but how, oh how I remembered. With each passing day I made the conclusion with greater confidence: "She's forgotten but I'll never forget." And I never have.

Why is that? It was no terrible mistake to have made, I was not socially stigmatized for having made it, and the failure revealed no disturbing flaw in my morality, reasoning skills or intelligence: it was only a misunderstanding. I think the reason I have so fixated on this failure is to do with its developmental significance. It was the first time I was embarrassed before an authority figure other than my parents. Lovely Mrs. Bussy never knew, but her soft-spoken question broke new ground in my psyche. I wonder how frequently we tread on the fresh soil of another's soul without ever realizing. Perhaps if everybody blogged their epiphanies, and everybody read them, we'd all be really really happy.

Ego Relativism

Last night's events strongly suggest that Nick is a more good person than I am.

Words for Aesthetos

I am much better acquainted with the state of non-existence than with its opposite which I now enjoy. Both are potentially ephemeral, so each ought to be cherished. Unless I live forever, and I don't have any current plans to do so, I'll have a full opinion of each soon enough. I may or may not be able to blog about it.

Quotable Nick

"I'm gonna go out for a smoke because, unlike Kate Bosworth, I'm no quitter."
-Nick

World AIDS Day

It's World AIDS Day. Are you wearing red? How about (RED)?

Nick and I saw The Fountain and Casino Royal today. I'll share my thoughts latermaybe.

Any Post

I am the reason for the Universe, though not the cause.

NOTES:
I'm still plowing through video from Beyond Belief. I'm on session five right now. Very interesting. I loved Ann Druyan's remarks at the end of session four, but I think the man to whom she was responding was a ringer ;). Carolyn Porco gave one of my favorite presentations and made the fascinating point that we all know what death is like: it's just like before we were born.

DNA's Downside

We can only become what we are able to be.

The Word of Dog

New Scientist: Science is interesting and if you don't agree, you can fuck off.

I love you, Rich

Turkey Wrap(up)

Wednesday
I flew Home on Wednesday. Brittany and I saw Borat. She didn't much care for it.

Thursday
The family piled in the car and drove to Kansas City Missouri to see my Dad's brother's family. They have three children: Alison (my age), Josh (my sister's age) and Baily (three years younger still). Alison visited us four-odd years ago and we hadn't seen the others for a long time. They are all very old. Aunt Carole made a fine Thanksgiving diner and we retired to play Frisbee and pool. It's a fun bunch.

Friday
Alison and I did the crossword in a local paper (we finished). We played Mario Cart and pool and more Frisbee (which spellcheck is telling me ought to be capitalized. I never knew). We had diner at a great local pizeria. Kansas City has a quaint little Main St. area. Then it was back to the house for more pool and some movies. Forty Year Old Virgin lasted a few minutes before the old folks found it too inappropriate. The Nightmare Before Christmas was next and I had forgotten how short a movie it is. After that, I finally got my way and Vertigo was put on. That is a long movie.

Saturday
Six hour drive back home. Brittany came over late and we yucked and talked into the wee hours.

Sunday
Back to NY. The Gym was closed. Waaa! Rehearsal was tedious in the extreme. Afterward, I stayed up until five watching video from the Beyond Belief conference which was Nov 5-7.

Monday
I woke up at 2:30 and was late for 2pm rehearsal. No one noticed. I have 7-10 rehearsal in an hour and I'm writing this blog post instead of going to the gym. I'll have to go after rehearsal. That's bad because the gym closes at 11, but good because there won't be so many people there.

An Occasion on the 26th of Nov

Today marks a year of uninterrupted follicle growth on my head.

Catastrophe!

I was in a hurry yesterday and I needed some serious calcium. I popped into a university shop and found a single bottle in the fridge, labeled only "Milk." It looked good to me. Well, while waiting for the subway, I cracked open this beverage and discovered, to my utter shock, it was whole! Worse still, I liked it!!!

Today, catastrophe! I am at the dining hall, cup in hand, facing the milk machine. I have a choice: skim or whole. Both are available, both are fresh. My hand moves to the "Whole" lever, filling my cup to the brim. I drink it all. I am ashamed.

I don't know when - or if - I will return to skim, but I am confident of one thing: An old man will look back on the tatters of his ruined life and recognize this as the very moment which began the downward spiral.

"Things that make you big" for 500!

Working out is a lot like masturbating: you look at sexy people while performing a repetitive motion that makes you feel both good and sticky.

H2O

A man is wandering in the desert of the apocalypse when he comes across a machine. He says, "Do you have any water?" The machine replies, "No, but I am waiting for the Culligan man." The man asks, "Is the Culligan man coming soon?" and the machine tells him, "Very," so the man sits down to wait. The next day, the man dies from dehydration. Some billion years later, after the Universe has ended, God is walking through Heaven when he comes across the machine. God says, "Do you have any faith?" The machine replies, "No, but I am waiting for the Culligan man." God asks, "Are you sure he is coming?" and the machine tells God, "Very." Some eternities later, after Heaven has ended, the machine is walking through Chaos when it comes across a blue jacket and hat. The machine dons the clothing and Chaos says, "Hey Culligan Man!"

The moral of the story: Machines don't get thirsty.
Further reading: Transhumanism and the dilemmas of space travel.

No Title

A perfect human world is a world without humans.

Dems in Da House

And apparently in the Senate too. And then I heard Rummie was out, and I did a happy dance!

Blogiversary

Happy anniversary blog! A year ago today, Phil Martin was kicked out of studio, Sherin had a birthday, I jacked off and did laundry, and Manos Hands of Fate was enjoyed by all.

Today, I skipped a class to take a nap, Sherin had a birthday, and the country voted. Maybe I'll jerk off in a bit.

This year has been up and down for me and I've blogged through it all. Reading over old posts, I vividly remember certain things and have no recollection of others. Through good or bad, the blog encourages me to remember, provokes me to write, and incentivises interesting, blog-worthy behavior. Its a resource I will further cherish with each passing year. If you don't already, may I recommend you give this blogging thing a go. Let me know if you do: lunchtimemama at gmail dot com. What are you up to? What do you think? What are you? Do something worth blogging about!

As for the next year, I've got some great stuff coming up. More antidotes, epithets, poems, pearls of ignorance and turds of wisdom. I've also got a project in the works for you, dear reader, that should be done around next May. There's another thing that I hope to tell you about sooner. December-ish. Look for it all in the year to come. I'll see you there.

"We're not looking for the best, we're looking for the famousest."

Wonder

I don't fully understand the psycho-socio mechanism by which the gym is always packed on Friday nights. Whatever. Last night was amazing. I first thought $10 was too steep for a fund-raiser party, but it was the most fun I've had in a long damn time. Yeah. It was just awesome.

"I don't believe it's selfish to eat defenseless shell fish." -NOFX

Goood

Some poops are bad. Some are good. That one was very good!